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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24712639">Was the knife necessary?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Understood/pseuds/Mrs_Understood'>Mrs_Understood</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hulk (2003), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Awkward Crush, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Bruce Banner &amp; Tony Stark Friendship, Bruce Banner Has Issues, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Hurt Bruce Banner, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki and Tony set up Thor and Bruce, Protective Thor (Marvel), Slow Burn, Stabbing, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, sciencethunder, stabbing for a good cause, thruce</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:21:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,687</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24712639</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Understood/pseuds/Mrs_Understood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce is awkward, Thor is crushing hard, and Tony and Loki take matters into there own hands, which never goes well. </p><p>“Well not much for you to do about it now, is there?” He said. “Hey if I die I die, I’d be fine if the stairs wanted to take me,”<br/>“Unacceptable, no friend of mine will go out that way,” thor said.<br/>“Well I don’t know what you want me to do about it- Thor what are you- hey put me down!”<br/>“I will not allow injury to come to my dear friends when faced with an easy solution,” Thor stated, as if it wasn’t a big deal. “And I quite enjoy being allowed to carry people anyway. It is a win win, if you will.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bruce Banner/Thor, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Was the knife necessary?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>He-ey. So this is why I didn't update my chapter fic today. I uh, I hope y'all like this. IDK how to preface the awkwardness you are about to read... good luck. Also this was only going to be TWO THOUSAND WORDS HOW DID I GET HERE??</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Bruce rolled out of bed, literally, to sit on the floor, working up his motivation to actually stand up. He wasn’t ready to face everyone outside just yet, so instead he grabbed a notebook he kept deep in the drawer of his bed and flipped to the dog eared page in the middle. He’s made a list a while back, and he re-read it. Not every day, but most of them. Honestly almost all of them. He hadn’t always needed to but, things weren't the way they’d always been. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The list wasn’t much, it wasn’t anything really of value, those he’d been forced at practically gun point to write down and literally hang on his wall by Tony. These were the ones that got him through his bad days though. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly he took out a pen from behind his lamp, adding another line to the list. He tried to never add anything to the short term, because if it was something he was looking forward to it would make the list irrelevant. Those went on another list. Tony thinks he has a problem, but he’s pretty sure that man still doesn't know his own address, so he wasn’t taking criticism. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although he did definitely have a problem. Just not about lists. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Number nine,” He said as he wrote. “Don’t kill yourself until you can open your eyes and get out of bed in the same breath,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stared at the writing for a second, before reading through the earlier ones, and standing up finally, blinking when his vision blurred for a minute. He had to blink for a second, shaking his head, which did not help, by the way, before he pulled on fresh clothes and brushed his teeth, before he stumbled down the stairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t really want to look in the mirror, in fact, he hadn’t used the one Tony had installed in his wall in so long he’d covered it with posters to avoid it. Besides, he’d taken a shower last night, he was sure his hair was a frizzy mess, but he wasn’t going to do anything to fix it. He barely had his eyes open as he walked down the stairs, which was probably the reason his socked feet slipped on the marble, and he barely had time to grab the railing to keep himself from falling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Banner?” He winced, hearing Thor's voice from above him. It’s not like he spent hours getting ready most days, but he’d been hoping to just grab coffee and disappear into the lab, not really ready to talk to anyone other than Tony yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Thor…” He said, blinking. “I uh… hi… I already said that… didn’t I… okay uh,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright Banner?” Thor said. He’d managed to make it directly in front of him. “You got very close to mortal endangerment,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… what?” Bruce asked, blinking. Thor just looked at him patiently, waiting for him to process what he’d said. “Oh… yeah,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You must be more careful, friend Banner, I do not wish for you to come into harm's way,” Thor said, shaking his head. Bruce chuckled, maybe slightly hysterically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m alright with dying so…” He said. “If the stairs wanna take me whatever,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Banner!” Thor said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? I’d probably hulk out before I could actually die, if it makes you feel any better,” He said, shrugging, before spinning on the balls of his feet, making him slip again, this time falling humiliatingly against Thor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I fear I will now have to supervise you on these dangerous contraptions,” Thor said. “I do not with for harm to come to you,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re overreacting, nothing’s gonna-” Thor stepped away and he lost his balance again. “Okay, just because my inner ear decided that it didn’t need to function today does not mean I need supervision,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come, let us go, or I will request that Stark to cover the floors in those fake wools you use as rugs. What is it you call them again?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Carpet Thor,” Bruce said, pinching his nose. “Fine, you can follow me if you want to, but be quiet, alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yay!” Thor said, clapping his hands and following behind him, much closer then Bruce would have liked. He tried to lean forward, but he just slipped again and </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was remembering why maybe shoes are a good idea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Steady Banner, I do not wish for you to mortally endanger yourself,” Thor said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thor, does all speak translate things literally?” He asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do not attempt to distract me,” Thor said. “This is unsafe, I do not believe you should be allowed to walk these dangerous traps, even if you are under my expert supervision,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well not much for you to do about it now, is there?” He said. “Hey if I die I die, I’d be fine if the stairs wanted to take me,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unacceptable, no friend of mine will go out that way,” thor said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I don’t know what you want me to do about it- Thor what are you- </span>
  <em>
    <span>hey put me down!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will not allow injury to come to my dear friends when faced with an easy solution,” Thor stated, as if it wasn’t a big deal. “And I quite enjoy being allowed to carry people anyway. It is a win win, if you will.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thor, all I did was try and walk down some stairs,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well you should have thought of that before forcing my hand,” Thor said simply. “You are going to the lab, correct?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- yes. If Tony see’s this my life is over, I hope you know that,” Bruce said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do not jest of such sad matters,” Thor said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… uh… fine…? I don’t… I mean I don’t see the problem?” He said eloquently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you not understand the issue at hand?” Thor asked loudly, and Bruce was really hoping at the moment that no one was in the stairwell. “I take the safety of those I enjoy at the utmost seriousness. And I am told I am never serious.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would never joke about someone I like dying,” Bruce said deadpan. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But- you joke on harm coming to yourself,” Thor said. “I think I may be confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s… cuz… no one I like… But I could… whatever… I just… you’re not gonna get it- I’m closing my mouth now. Done talking. Right. No more… ugh. Okay,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will ask Friday for clarification on a later date.” Thor said. “Let us go then,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does that mean that you are planning on putting me down?” Bruce said. “Because I am actually pretty sure that death would be preferable to this right now,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have I </span>
  <em>
    <span>not made it perfectly clear</span>
  </em>
  <span>-” Thor said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright alright, be quiet, someone’s gonna come make sure you aren't dying,” Bruce said. “Just, ugh, I am not awake enough for this, just be quiet,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine. I believe this is your floor, is it not?” Thor asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, please put me down now,” Bruce said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is the code for the door?” thor asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Put me down Thor. Do you know how often Tony sleeps in there? I can’t remember the last time it was empty- Thor!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could not figure out how the keypad works, so I simply removed the door,” Thor said. “Hello! The man of Iron is here Banner!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- er…. Okay… ow, this is… okay… what is this… okay… Hi Tony…. Just… can you… ow, just, put me down, oh no,” He covered his mouth with his hand to prevent himself from saying anything else. “Hmmpfh,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, what’s going on here?” Tony asked, grinning widely, as he set down a smoking carburetor. “Friday, are you seeing this?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes sir, I assure you that this has been logged repeatedly in multiple files,” Friday said. “Would you like to see the list?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah,” Tony said, taking a step forward. “Thor? You wanna tell me about what you’re doing with Brucie Bear right there?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had concerns for his personal safety as he descended the flight of stairs,” Thor said. Bruce just covered his face more securely. “Therefor, I decided that the safest course of action would be to personally oversee his travel,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bruce, you care to explain further?” Tony asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just put me down now Thor,” Bruce said. “I uh, it’s… alright… just put me… Thor? Okay, please.... Um this is… Tony this isn’t what this sounds like I swear… or looks like…, um it’s… alright just, okay he isn’t putting me down. It’s, help? Please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, Thor, take pity on him, I don’t know how much longer he can last,” Tony said. “Bruce, a word?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hehehe, alright, fine, okay, sure, yep… okay, here we are, it’s fine, okay, help?” Bruce said. Thor set him down gently, allowing him time to scuttle away to the hallway, banging his hip in the process. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow,” Tony said, stepping into the hallway. “That was the most stressed out I have ever seen you, and one time I saw you pass out in front of a entire news crew,”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Tony help me I don’t know what to do!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Bruce said, running a hand through his hair, wincing at how puffy it felt. “Help me!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you think that I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> planning on letting you off the hook for this?” Tony said. “This is the best thing that’s happened since I last eat,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tony breakfast was three hours ago,” Bruce said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I haven’t eaten in a week and a half,” Tony said. “Anyway, I will be actively worsening the situation, If I’m lucky you’re gonna be having a heart attack around eight minutes from now. Good luck,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, I might hate you,” Bruce said. Tony just rolled his eyes, shoving him back into the lab. “Ow, I definitely hate- </span>
  <em>
    <span>heeeeeeey</span>
  </em>
  <span> Thor… you’re… still here?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to ensure that you are not endangered, friend Banner. The Man of Iron has told me many a time of the dangers you handle in this lab, and I do not wish for harm to befall you if I can prevent it,” Thor said seriously, adjusting his grip on his hammer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, that’s great, um… I’m gonna work… over here so… you can, sit, if you want to. Bye,” Bruce said, ducking behind some of Tony's heavy machinery and scuttling over to his work station. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Give him a minute, he’s still processing waking up,” Tony said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is my friend alright? He seemed… disgruntled at best,” thor said. “I do not wish him any form of intrusion on my part, but I am worried for his safety,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce could </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> Tony’s smirk when he opened his mouth. “You know what Thor, I’m really glad you said that, because I have been quite worried about him myself. I think the absolute best thing for him right now would be if you watch over him as a friend, keep him safe and all,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, that does sound very good, man of Iron,” Thor said. “I thank you for your input,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pleasure was mine, Ricky Morton,” Tony said, and Bruce could see him pat the blonds shoulder before Thor made his way over to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello Banner, what have you decided to perfect today?” Thor asked, peering at his papers throwed everywhere.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In order to correct something it needs to exist first,” Bruce mumbled under his breath. “For example, I can’t die if I was never born, so I will be going back in time to eliminate my birth-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Banner!” Thor yelled in his ear, making him wince. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aaah, joking… is what I was… okay so I… I’m gonna make this… er, well, it’s hard to explain.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is fine, I will not comprehend the words you say, but I am happy to listen,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wha- why are, okay, this is fine, alright then um, well, this is a… well, okay this won’t make sense unless I explain this, but in order to do that, shit um, so you know what molecular transfusion is, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thor’d been dozing while spinning a pen in his hand, watching Bruce work diligently, his eyes remaining trained on the scientist, except for when they were closed. He woke up from his half nap by a crashing sound and some kind of hissing, startling him. Sitting upright he saw Bruce lying on the floor, his face hidden, and a smoking puddle of something lying near a broken beaker. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Banner!” Thor yelled. “Man of Iron, he is injured! What am i to do?” He asked, his voice raising in panic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did he- okay, whoops,” Tony said. “That is the stupidest thing, he mixed bleach and ammonia, which can kill you if you aren't careful,” Tony said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Banner is dead?” Thor asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nonononono,” Tony said. “Put down the hammer, he’s fine, just knocked out, I’ma mop this up, you should probably take him back to his room or something, this stuff is strong and he’s gonna be out for awhile,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” Thor did not hesitate to scoop up the scientist, making a mental note to argue with him over his lab safety as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh and Thor?” Tony said. “Maybe cool it on the Banner. Try calling him by his first name, see how he reacts, It’ll be good for both of you,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will try that,” Thor said. “Thank you for the sound advice,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anytime Barbie, go whisk him away,” Tony said. “No funny business, alright?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm,” Thor said, completely concentrating on carrying Bruce safely through the door. Not a moment after he’d left, Loki showed up, seemingly appearing out of thin air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have a proposition,” Loki said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool, hit me with it,” Tony said. “Also, ten out of ten on the creepy entrance thing, Loving it,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should attempt to set up my brother with your scientist pet,” Loki said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my gosh the British thing is killing me,” Tony said. “But yes, I was actually on the same track as you,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You where?” Loki asked. “In what ways?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I think if we played out cards right Thor would be alright with getting engaged tonight,” Tony said. “It’s Bruce we need to worry about,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, my brother is very pliable,” Loki said. “What are you suggesting?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We need to make them date without them realizing they are dating,” Tony said. “Like, Bruce ends up in a relationship without his knowledge or consent,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds perfect,” Loki said. “Do you need me to get Thor to do anything?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Make sure he keeps being super clingy, that’s good, and maybe if he feels like being emotionally vulnerable every now and then,” Tony said. “I am so sorry but I promised Sam I would say that,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, I am in favor of this plan,” Loki said. “Let us put it into action,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>—-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bruce?” Thor asked. The scientist continued to give no response, so Thor set him gently on his bed, pushing the already messed up covers over him all the way up to his chin. “Sleep well, I will ensure your safety through your slumber,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He really did try and sit still, but he was a fidgeter, so he grabbed the closest thing to twirl in his hands, which happened to be a small black notebook, spinning it until it fell open accidentally. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was about to close it and return to his mindless spinning, when one list inside caught his eye. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why to not kill yourself today</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-You still don’t know how to do your hair right</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-Peter is still trying to get to 3000 digests of pie</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-You can’t drink more then two shots without being able to walk straight.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-it would prove everyone right</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-do you really want to die the most pathetic way possible?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>There were other lists in the book, but Thor still couldn’t get past the first one, staring at it for a long time, not moving or fidgeting or even blinking, until his eyes welled with tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Softly setting the book down, he removed his boots, leaving his feet dressed in socks, and laying down next to his friend and pulling him close. He would have to come up with a plan now to keep Bruce safe 100% of the time. He hadn’t anticipated this, but it shouldn't be too hard. He wasn’t nearly as slippery as his brother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thor must have been holding onto Bruce tighter then he’d intended to, because Bruce </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> wake up, rather quickly at that. “Thor…? Whats… ow. Okay, whe’e…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ba- Bruce, I seem to have come across very disturbing information,” thor said, not allowing his friend to escape by wiggling. “And I have therefore decided that the best course of action will be constant monitoring of you,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… okay? Wha’ did you fin’?” Bruce asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unimportant, anyways, you are now never allowed to leave,” Thor said. “However you have been drugged. May i recommend extended sleep?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wha- what happen’?” Bruce asked. “Can, okay this is… ugh, alright why are you… did something </span>
  <em>
    <span>happen</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing that I wish to share with you at the moment,” Thor said. Bruce blinked at him sleepily, before covering his head with a pillow, attempting to roll over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to know, jus’ leave me alone,” Bruce said. “Goodnight,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure that you will be fine sleeping? I have heard that when midgardians are injured they should not be allowed to sleep,” Thor said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tha’s for headwoun’ Tho’,” Bruce said from under his pillow. “Goodnight,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is exactly the kind of thing someone with a head wound would say,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can not believe that we are doing this right now,” Loki said, rubbing a hand over his face. “This is so weird. I always try to sabotage all of Thor's relationships,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t remember the last time I hated someone enough to try and set them up with </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bruce</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Tony said. “Oh it feels so weird to take this seriously,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Loki said. “I am fighting everything inside myself to not just… just stab bruce… just a little,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don- </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh wait</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Tony said. “What if… that isn’t the worst idea ever…” Tony said, tapping his chin. “I assume that you know how to, you know, stab a human in the chest and not actually kill them, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course!” Loki said indignantly. “How little do you mortals think of me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Save it, you and I both know that I’m never dying,” Tony said, turning to a hologram. “Hey Fri, be a dear and pull up that map of Bruce’s anatomy I made, will you?” Tony asked the ceiling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course sir, although I believe you already know my opinion on your misuse of that file?” She said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Blah blah, invasions of personal whatever, just show it to me, or else I’m taking the barbies back out,” Tony said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Opening file,” She replied. Not a moment later a life like holograms of Bruce, or a two foot tall Bruce, was placed in front of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So the idea here, is if we screw him up enough that he can’t be the most awkward thing on this planet and the next, and we act indifferent about him while your brother freaks out, it might be just… the push we need in the right direction,” Tony said, spinning his pen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So stabbing isn’t completely off the table?” Loki said. “What about the Hulk?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re fighting right now, you could drop Bruce like, 80 stories and he’d just die,” Tony said. “Actually he wouldn’t die, but as long as he’d live the Hulk isn’t coming out. He’s annoyed Bruce keeps trying to kill him,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Hulk or himself?” Loki asked.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Anyways, your brother seems awfully protective of both of you, I worry about the implications on the strain of having you be the stabber,” Tony said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I do happen to have one tool up my sleeve…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>--- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thor, you have to let me go to the store,” Bruce said. “I need food,”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have pop tarts,” Thor said. “I do not see a reason for the voyage,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce walked into the kitchen, grabbing the pastry box in question and throwing it out the open window. “Oh no, we’re out. I guess our </span>
  <em>
    <span>only option</span>
  </em>
  <span> would be to go to the store. Oh no!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was mean friend Bruce,” Thor said. “I restrict your freedom for your safety,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but I also turn into a giant green rage demon if anyone tries to kill me, so I think I’ll be fine,” Bruce said. “I’m not a little kid, I’m almost fifty,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually,” Tony's voice on the intercom said. “You are physically around 38, because of the cell thing,” He said. “Reverse aging,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh I hate that so much,” Bruce said, rubbing his forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess I can allow you to exit from the house,” thor said. “But only as long as I can come with, to provide protection for you,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Again, giant green rage demon,” Bruce said, “I am an avenger, remember?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you implying that you actually enjoy your transformation from human to the Hulk?” Thor asked. “I was under the impression it was rather painful for you,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep! Brucie bear is a regular Remus Lupin,” Tony said over the speaker. They both stared at Friday's camera. Or one of the visible ones. Tony liked them because it gave burglars a false sense of security. Little did they know the walls had eyes. “Harry Potter? No one? Ew,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you go?” Bruce asked, waving at the ceiling. Tony didn’t reply, which actually wasn’t at all reassuring, but better then his disembodied voice. “Alright, well </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m</span>
  </em>
  <span> leaving in twenty minutes, if you want pop tarts you can come with me,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will provide your protection for you, have no fear!” Thor said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great. I would never </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> want </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> to happen to me,” Bruce said. “That would just be tragic, wouldn’t it?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you wonder why I feel the need to ensure your protection,” Thor said. Bruce rolled his eyes, but still allowed Thor to tag along almost twenty minutes later as he walked outside, when in Thor immediately jumped to his protection. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes Thor, save me from the pigeon,” Bruce said, rolling his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still do not trust these strange mid guardian creatures of the air. They have an evil glint to their eyes,” Thor said. “Stay behind me, I want to keep watch on them,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On the pigeons?” Bruce asked, raising an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes on the pigeons Bruce, have you not heard of their attacks on the innocents of New York?” Thor asked. “The boy of spiders showed me some very convincing footage he’d taken on his way home,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Peter could get a black eye from a sandwich, doesn't mean anything,” Bruce said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Allspeak extends far beyond humanoid beings Bruce, I can hear their murmurings,” Thor said, gripping his hammer. “They remember Peter. I believe them to be speaking in code about there plans for attack,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, you keep an eye on those birds,” Bruce said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What happened next almost missed Thor's attention, saved only by him turning to deliver his clever response. Bruce froze, feeling a cold weight spread through his stomach and chest, making him stumble into Thor's shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bruce?” Thor asked, turning and pushing back with a hand around each shoulder, holding him up. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Bruce what happened?”</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>‘I-I… I don’t…” He pressed a hand to  his shirt, seeing it come away slick with blood. “U-Uh, I don’t…I think I...got stabbed?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hold still!” He said, taking Bruce’s arm and throwing it over his shoulder. “Do not remove the blade, the bleeding will only increase. Did you see the assailant?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“N-no, they uh… they snuck… they snuck behind… behind me…” Bruce rasped out. “Shouldn’t… sho-shouldn’t be to… shouldn’t…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop trying to speak,” thor said. “You are only harming yourself further,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O-O-Okay,” Bruce whispered, wincing. That sounded like a good idea, his vision was already blurring grey slightly. “T-thats-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hush,” Thor said. “We are close to home, it will not be too long.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm,” Bruce nodded, letting Thor take most of his weight as they walked briskly to the building. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you wonder why I don’t trust you with your own safety,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do it?” Tony asked, popping a raspberry in his mouth as Loki strolled in the room, shifting from his old man disguise to his usual attire. “He is still alive, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, what do you think of me?” Loki asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think that you are someone who doesn't usually try to ensure that your victims walk away safely,” Tony said. “Alright, so how’d it go Severus? Don’t give me that look- does no one read around here? Or tweet?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Loki said. “I do read, I just don’t read trivial things. The attack was as planned, my brother seemed quite upset, moreso then any death of mine has caused him,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You die every week when Sam calls you in for therapy, excuse him for being desensitised.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He is not excused,” Loki said. “Anyways, my brother will be returning in a moment with Bruce. You will be able to act normal won’t you? I already did the hard part,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what businessmen do on Asgard, but on earth, they lie. A lot. It’s all I do. For example, I really like your hair today,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do?” Loki asked, raising an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course not, it looks like you went skinny dipping in a pool of tar, but I can’t say that if I want you buying SI’s newest earpiece, can I?” He said. “Geeze, and they say Asgard is advanced.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever, just don’t mess it up,” Loki said. Not three minutes later, Thor stumbled into the lab, holding Bruce up, who’d by then passed out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit what </span>
  <em>
    <span>happened</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Tony asked, dropping his coffee cup, letting it splatter on his papers. “Is that a </span>
  <em>
    <span>knife?”</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, I was watching the birds and I turned around and someone had stabbed him!” thor said, his voice high and panicky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Put him on the table,” Tony said, scooting some things aside. Of course, he’d already sterilized everything, including the staged clutter, not actually wanting to cause Bruce any long term damage. “Shit this looks bad,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is he gonna be okay?” Thor asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just hand me the gauze over there,” Tony said. He shot Loki a dirty look at the placement of the knife. “This should have just hit muscle,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did it?” Thor asked, leaning over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll see,” He said. “Ideally it would have been a bit over, but I think I can work with this,” Tony snapped on blue gloves quickly, pressing the gauze on the wound, around the knife still embedded in Bruce’s chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” Thor asked. “Can I help?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, you can wait outside,” Tony said. Thor tilted his head, froning at Tony. “Did that sound like a question? Scram, you’re gonna get in the way!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I please stay?” Thor asked. Tony sighed irritably. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki, take your brother out,” Tony commanded. Loki could almost forget that this was all already planned. Maybe it had rattled Tony more than he said it would, because the panic in his voice was very real. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On it,” Loki said, grabbing Thor's shoulder and dragging him out. Thor seemed still too shocked to do anything but blink and stair, looking at the door long after it had closed. “You good?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn't make sense,” Thor said. “I went with him to keep him safe. He shouldn’t have gotten hurt. I was watching </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t watch everything genius,” Loki said. “Besides, I’m sure it’ll be fine. They'll be completely irresponsible and creepy and fix him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to be in there,” Thor said. “I wanna help!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well you </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>, so settle yourself,” Loki snapped, tugging hard on his brother's elbow. “Why are you acting so </span>
  <em>
    <span>weird</span>
  </em>
  <span>? You’re overreacting,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This </span>
  <em>
    <span>isn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> an overreaction, Bruce has been injured!” Thor said. “He could die Loki!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does it matter to you? Humans die all the time, or have you forgotten?” Loki asked, biting his lip. He was playing with fire escalating like this, but he was hoping if Thor responded the way he expected, this would work out for the better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Humans we don’t know! Asgardians die just as often, it just takes longer,” Thor said loudly. Loki shook his head, letting a smile slip on his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see what’s happening,” He said. Thor reacted immediately, his eyes widening. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See that?” Thor asked, his voice high.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You like him, don’t you,” Loki said. “You like him and you don’t know how to handle it,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thats… that’s not true,” Thor said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is true, your face is as red as your cape,” Loki said. “Come on now brother, you and I both know you can’t lie for the throne, can you?” He asked. “Aw, you are embarrassed, aren't you? Scared perhaps?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are not to use him, understand?” Thor asked, switching tones. “Not manipulate him or play him in a game of any kind, clear?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fear not Brother, I do my best to avoid humans whenever I can,” Loki said. “I do not wish to associate with them when they have nothing to offer.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You keep that mentality, at least towards him.” Thor said. “Do not harm Bruce, understand?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes yes, I understand,” Loki said. “This is boring me, I am going out,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Thor said, sitting down and drawing his knees to his chest. “Stay out for a long time,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Crawl in a pit!” He threw over his shoulder. Still, as soon as the door shut behind him he grinned, nodding to one of Fridays cameras, knowing full well Tony had the screen pulled up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All was going according to plan. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you hire someone to stab me?” Bruce asked. It hadn’t taken long for him to wake up after the blood transfusion, and Tony had decided to stay and wait, wanting to make completely sure he was stable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would you say that?” Tony asked, grinning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate you, you know,” Bruce said. “Who was it? Clint? Nat? Wade?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“None of the above, Loki actually,” Tony said. “How’d you figure it out?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well usually they ask you for something first,” Bruce said. “And you would never drop your coffee if I’d been stabbed for real,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well done,” Tony said, nodding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t tell Thor, he’d lose his mind,” Bruce said. “He hasn’t blown up earth yet, had he?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not… yet…” Tony said. “Why is that something I should be watching?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm, don’t not have an eye to it,” Bruce said. “Let me guess, clean wound, straight through the muscle?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remarkable for a street fight,” Tony quipped. “You’re gonna be fine, don’t worry,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn it,” Bruce said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever, I’m letting your golden retriever back in here now, but you better make him watch harry potter, because no one is laughing at my very funny jokes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That's because they aren't funny. And I think you meant </span>
  <em>
    <span>read</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Bruce quipped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh oh, he’s being funny,” Tony said, walking towards the door. “Lets flip the awkward switch!” He leaned out the door frame, yelling. “Hey Thor, he’s awake!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not two seconds later Thor barreled his way through the door, making Tony stumble. “Is he alive?” Tony just pointed at Bruce and left. “Are you alive?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh…” Bruce said. “I, er, I don’t… think… so…?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. I have made a decision,” Thor said. “You are to be under my supervision constantly. I will not allow you out of my site,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And… when I… sleep?” He asked. “I mean… you need to sleep…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will not,” thor said. “It is in fact, not all that complicated.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Until you need sleep,” Brue said. “I’m… I’m fine… we’re good. Everythings… good here… yeah…” He said, tugging at his IV, wincing when it pulled at the skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do not cause yourself </span>
  <em>
    <span>greater</span>
  </em>
  <span> injury!” Thor said, grabbing Bruce's hand in a death grip. “Are you actively intending to cause yourself injury, and you wonder why I have a lack of faith in your safety,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just… ugh… I don’t know how to… what am I meant to… none if this is… can I… help? Help… help?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Help with what?” Thor asked. “Are you in pain?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! Nope… this… okay I don’t know what I’m saying… I think I’m on a lot of pain meds,” Bruce said, leaning forward. “I can tell, I have a headache,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought the meaning of pain medication was to relieve medication, why does it increase yours?” Thor asked, tilting his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m just… like that…” Bruce said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like what?” Thor asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cursed,” Bruce supplied. “They basically work the opposite… or like… they numb the rest… of my body… but not… I don’t really know… I’m very confused…” Bruce said, rubbing his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The best thing for recovery is continued rest,” Thor said seriously. “Close your eyes, I will guard your bed,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wh- no it’s… fine.” Bruce said. “Okay, whatever, just don’t talk,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Brucie, wakey wakey!” Tony yelled, startling Bruce awake. “I gave Thor wrong directions to coffee, we should have about half a hour,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing- Ow! Hey!” Bruce said, rubbing his arm where Tony had thrown his phone at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let's get down to business,” Tony said. “You’ve fallen </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard</span>
  </em>
  <span> for Thor, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would love to know what gave you that impression,” Bruce said grumpily, grabbing his glasses off the night stand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, I can read you like an open book. Also, even </span>
  <em>
    <span>Steve</span>
  </em>
  <span> thought that you two were flirting. Or he was flirting and you were dysfunctional. I mean… </span>
  <em>
    <span>Steve</span>
  </em>
  <span>! And he was in denial about his relationship for eighty years.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t… like… Thor,” Bruce said. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And why did you show them that footage?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bruce, he asked you if you wanted coffee and you panicked for fifteen minutes before he just gave you some,” Tony said. “Bruce my job is reading people, how actually idiotic do you think I am?” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I guess it doesn't matter what you think then because you are wrong,” Bruce said, crossing his arms definitely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, yes,” Tony said. “I could always take your word for that and trust you as a friend…” Tony said. “Or, I could use Friday to hook you up to a portable polygraph test because I know you didn’t take me up on that offer to train yourself against them, and I can just make sure for myself,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tony- wait wait wait, okay, fine I’ll talk to you, just leave it alone,” Bruce said. Tony dropped the heart rate monitor, raising an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ready to fess up?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, I… I kinda like him… I guess… I don’t see why you happen to care…” Bruce said. “Okay, I said it, can you leave me alone,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bruce, I stabbed you to get you this far, you really think I’m backing off?” Tony said, sitting on the bed. “Bruce, you are going to need to make the first move, Thor is about as perceptive as a wall of brick,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tony, I can’t order </span>
  <em>
    <span>coffee</span>
  </em>
  <span> alone, what makes you think I can do that?” Bruce said. “Besides, that would imply that a move would be made, which it won’t be,” Bruce said.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bruuuucie bear, come on, have some confidence,” Tony said. “You know what, I bet he’d say yes if you take your shirt off,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> taking off any form of my clothing. What’s wrong with you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on Bruce, I bet he’d kiss you  back,” Tony said. “I mean, what with the hulk it’s not like he doesn't know you have abs,” Tony said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate you. You know that I hate you, right?” Bruce said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With all of your heart,” Tony replied. “Make a move or I’m telling Thor for you, and I don’t know about you, but I got over that form of romance in first grade,” Tony said. “Well their first grade, I was three,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you </span>
  <em>
    <span>dare</span>
  </em>
  <span> tell Thor,” Bruce said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, that's all up to you,” Tony said. “Good luck Bruce,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am not telling Banner, I do not wish to impair our friendship, should his feelings not be reciprocated,” Thor said, as Loki marched him into the building. “And I have yet to find the midgardian drink that Tony speaks so highly of,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thor, Tony lied to you, it was my idea,” Loki said. “He needed a minute alone with Bruce, and I just got the okay text from Tony,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What okay text?” Thor asked. “What is a text?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate you. Tony just gave me the okay that Bruce likes you to. But he is the most awkward person I have ever met, so you have to make the first move, okay?” Loki said. “Okay, good talk,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Loki</span>
  </em>
  <span>- do not-” Loki slammed the door behind him, closing him in Bruce's hospital room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… hey Thor…” Bruce said, leaning back in the hospital bed. “Are you… good?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Do you feel well? I wish to speak with you, but I will wait if you are feeling ill,” Thor said, sitting on Bruce’s hospital bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- yeah… I mean, I feel… I feel fine… I… yeah…” Bruce stammered awkwardly. “Yes. I mean… yes I feel fine… I think… I’m done… talking… now…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. Do not speak for the next few moments, if you will,” Thor said. “I have been conversing with my brother, and I believe I have not been completely forthcoming with my intentions in our friendship,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… heh?” Bruce asked eloquently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe that if i am to be able to continue this friendship, which it can continue to be completely a friendship, should that be what you desire, however, I do find myself… infatuated with you, Bruce,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… um…” Bruce stammered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do not blame you if those feelings are not reciprocated, and I would hope our friendship can continue, however, I will need a response in order to understand how to move forward,” Thor said, staring intensely at Bruce. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… uh… it’s…” Bruce paused, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. “I… like you too… I guess? I think… no I know… I think I know… but… but yes? Yes? Yeah,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excellent!” Thor said, lighting up. “I will continue to watch over you then, should I be permitted to,” Thor said, standing up energetically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… i guess that’s fine… if you- I mean if that’s what you want… I can’t really stop you- uh, just don’t be super loud, my uh, my head still hurts…” Bruce stuttered, looking down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, my apologies,” Thor stage whispered. “Is there anything I can do to decrease the pain in your head, Bruce?” He asked, looking genuinely concerned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just… just maybe turn the lights down… if you don’t mind. I mean I don’t want to bother you. It’s really fine but…” Bruce said. Thor cut him off, flipping the switch and bathing the entire room in darkness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that any better?” thor whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yes actually… thank you Thor…” Bruce said, blushing. He was suddenly incredibly happy Thor couldn’t see him in the darkened room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are most welcome, Bruce. Why not you rest now, in hopes of remedying your head. I will keep watch over you,” Thor said, sitting back down, this time on the bed, his hips head Bruce's head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do that,” Bruce mumbled. He really did want to stay awake longer, but he could already feel the pain meds pulling him under, and his shoulder and head were still throbbing. Thor carded a hand through his hair, nodding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will. Rest well, Bruce,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking did it</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Tony said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Finally! I did not think anyone idiotic enough to go out with my brother,” Loki said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t think Bruce had it in him to have a conversation like that</span>
  <em>
    <span> ever. </span>
  </em>
  <span>One time I tried to make him talk about it in a simulation and he had a panic attack for hours,” Tony said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, they do make quite a nice, if not dysfunctional, pair,” Loki said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t argue with that Elvis Presley,” Tony said, raising a rather full glass. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who?” Loki asked, tilting his head so his hair fell in his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh I have so much work to do,” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I have anxiety, and so I wrote Bruce's speech patterns around Thor how I talk when I am really (REALLYREALLYREALLY uncomfortable. I actually have found I don't ever studder unless I'm sick of really tired, but there are a lot of pauses and filler words. Anyways, I really hope you liked it, please leave a comment, I respond to all of them bc I'm lonely.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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